In the movie "The Princess Diaries," a young woman learns she is a princess. A major portion of the film deals with Mia's forced transformation from a klutzy, unfashionable teen into a polished, elegant princess. It is only after Mia has a makeover, conforming to the physical norms of fashion, that she becomes popular and envied by everyone. 

Watch any talk show or read any magazine and you'll see the inevitable makeover. Whether it's a person, house, desk, or yard, anything and everything is made over. And while change isn't necessarily bad, it's interesting how we have now come to see before as "bad" and after as "good." In the before 

pictures, the model has no make-up, a sallow-colored shirt, and looks unhappy. But in the after photo (always much bigger than the before one), the model is radiant in professionally applied make up and perfectly styled hair. The message: only after she has spent both time and money on her appearance can she be physically worthy. Only then can she fit into the "do" world of "do's and don'ts." 

We all know women's magazines like Cosmopolitan, Mademoiselle, Allure, and Marie Claire aren't the most literary pieces of work. I've read Gloria Steinem and Jean Kilbourne and know about the harmful images we see in advertisements. It's a trade off-you get the emaciated models and umpteenth advice column, but you also get the important information about careers, your body, and other women your age.

While paging through the June 2001 issue of Glamour, I found a section about curly hair. My eyes stopped at a photo where the woman had the same type of hair as me. A black bar covered her eyes. She was a "don't." Apparently, she wasn't using the proper conditioning to "calm" her hair down. Seeing this photo of my hair shocked me. While I know I'll never be mistaken for a model, I like to think my hair and clothing choices are fashionable and flattering. And yet this magazine was telling me that my hair was wrong. Not only that, it was a "don't." I can do everything possible and a magazine can still deem me a "don't." 

Where did this idea come from? Can everything really be designated into a "do" or "don't" category? There is a danger in adapting the notion that there is a clear yes or no to physical appearance. Women and men already struggle with accepting themselves and their bodies. Now women can see thousands of photos on the internet of before and after breast implants. The after photos are the "successful" ones.

Even if we submit ourselves to makeovers, how does it adapt to real life? Not the perfectly coifed, airbrushed world of photos, but the visible pores, sweaty real life? In the July issue of Glamour, yet another "dos and don'ts" section (this popular feature is always found on the last page--once a year Glamour even publishes a special edition called "Dos and Don'ts) featured the subject "how to wear the color pink." One of the don'ts: "Don't let your cover up fly away." How exactly are women supposed to control the wind? While the other photos gave concrete don'ts, such as not wearing certain colors of pink, this "don't" left me thoroughly stunned. Not only are we supposed to dress, act, and appear perfect, we must not let our clothes be affected by the elements. Rather than appearing normal, we must continue to strive for the unobtainable to be considered physically acceptable.

It is essential for people to question the messages the media gives us. I am now consciously wearing my shorts and my skirts shorter-wearing them for all of the women who are too ashamed, embarrassed, and afraid of being dismissed as a "don't." My appearance today is part of who I am. I am not a before or after, do or don't. I simply am me. Dismissing the constraints of the "do's and don'ts," the befores and afters, more women must discover that accepting and loving their beautiful, normal selves is truly the ultimate "do."

ABOUT THE AUTHOR-Elizabeth von Buchler has observed too many young girls and women putting their lives on hold until they lose weight, become prettier, smarter, or better. She is currently putting together a workshop and lecture about Women, Body Image, and the Media. After receiving her English Education degree from Indiana University Elizabeth taught high school English where she juxtaposed contemporary issues with literature and film to expand the minds of her students. She is a freelance writer with ImaginationStreet.com.